El Paso, by Marty Robbins.
The country adjacent theme is still because I’m listening to the Gram Parsons Bandsplain podcast (these things tend to last a few hours), even if some of us know this song better from the Grateful Dead’s version. I listened to Robbins, and frankly, I’m probably hearing Bob Weir’s cadence in my head for the most part, but still, let’s credit this story song to the original author this time.
Somehow, I feel like I heard this on the radio growing up, maybe on the oldies station? But I also think it’s mashed up in my head with Come A Little Bit Closer (I guess they played a lot of Jay and the Americans?) and maybe even Gimme Three Steps? Basically, there are a lot of songs that involve two dummies shooting it out in or near a bar over a girl. They are dummies!